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Go Back   Fun In B.C. > All about your Ride > Jeep Talk

Jeep Talk The only true 4x4

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  #1  
Old 10-10-2013, 08:57 PM
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Trailjunkie Trailjunkie is offline
loosing pavement gives me a
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this guy is awesome.

1997 Jeep Cherokee - $1750 (Enid, OK )

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.
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  #2  
Old 10-10-2013, 11:27 PM
96_z71 96_z71 is offline
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This is epic.
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2013, 09:39 AM
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England England is offline
and his
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awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2013, 10:34 AM
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atoyot atoyot is offline
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that sure sounds like a jeep guy....
has to explain everything wrong with him and his jeep....



while still trying to make it all sound cool... .....






.
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2013, 12:05 PM
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dirka dave dirka dave is offline
My carbon print is the size of a crater
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Sounds like something tuna would post.
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  #6  
Old 10-11-2013, 07:40 PM
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Trailjunkie Trailjunkie is offline
loosing pavement gives me a
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thats the way all adds should be in my opinion.

buy my shit , shuddap and fuck you ,
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2013, 11:35 AM
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vajayjay vajayjay is offline
My name goes well with a
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Thats what I should have done with my xj
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2013, 01:21 PM
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spanky spanky is offline
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That was awesome
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2013, 11:33 PM
Prolowtone Prolowtone is offline
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hahaha good add,
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  #10  
Old 10-13-2013, 10:05 AM
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I like it.
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  #11  
Old 10-13-2013, 10:58 AM
toyotaAlex toyotaAlex is offline
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Here's one I found on craigslist a while back.

An ugly old White Jeep Cherokee Pioneer.
Let's not kid ourselves, my ride is an awesome ride,
Stripped interior coated with yellow rust proof paint, everyone who gets in this vehicle is in awe of how bad ass my ride is, and it feels like you're driving an elevated couch of fun.

BMW and Benz owners drive angrily past me as I roll through intersections like a boss, and then they cry and hire a hooker because their parents could afford them an expensive car but not a personality.

4 doors, all manual windows and locks, all windows and locks work, YAY!
Manual transmission - all gears work YAY!
New front windshield ensures legal wind shielding - WITH NO ADDED CRACKS! Yeah!
Redid the rear main seal recently, and put in a new starter motor, and added a blower fan for heat,
Mechanically, this vehicle is in pretty damn good shape. Electronics need work. All exterior lights work.
THIS JEEP HAS A CURRENT WORKING TOW PACKAGE set up for Uhaul lights hookup. Awesome stuff!

There's minimal body rust WHICH I S AWESOME!
But yeah a ton of little things that need fixing, Interior lights and fixtures are not working, radio was working but is now gone,
Which is why this cherokee is 1000$ and not 5000$
And I only put 1000$ because i know you're gonna haggle with me
So just offer me 850$ outright and save us both time.

Comes with a brand new radiator (needs to be installed, hyuk hyuk)
Comes with a can of yellow rust paint to redo the interior,
And comes with the removed trim. You can have it! It's great.


May need a new battery. Ok probably needs a new battery.
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  #12  
Old 10-13-2013, 11:53 AM
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Trailjunkie Trailjunkie is offline
loosing pavement gives me a
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nice man nice
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