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arjan
02-22-2016, 11:43 PM
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to the
same sleeping compartment on a transcontinental train. Though initially
embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall
asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, he
leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother
you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second
blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for
tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he
exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!" After a moment
of silence, he farted....

arjan
02-22-2016, 11:46 PM
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful young blonde woman was
waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with
matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became
her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to
allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly
embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her
and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough
slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to
discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed
she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And
for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin
she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So with a coy little
smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little
more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big
Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist
and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, she went ballistic and
turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!!
I don't even know who you are!! " At this the Texan drawled " Well ma'am,
normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I
kinda figured that we are friends."

arjan
02-22-2016, 11:49 PM
One night a man and his wife were in bed. The wife curled up ready for sleep
and the husband put his bedlamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he
stopped, reached over to his wife and started fondling her between the legs.
He did this only for a very short while, then stopped and went back to
reading his book. The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of
him. The husband was confused and asked, "Why are you taking all your
clothes off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with me down there. I
thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier." The husband said, "No,
not at all." The wife then asked, "Well, what were you doing then?" "Oh," he
said, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages of my book!"

arjan
02-22-2016, 11:54 PM
A blonde goes to a store's deodorant display and tells the clerk, "I need to
buy some deodorant for my husband." "Does he use the ball kind?" inquired
the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

harvester_sorrow
02-23-2016, 10:42 AM
Zingers