View Full Version : some more jokes

06-24-2011, 06:11 PM
They say “don’t drink and drive” but yesterday I was drinking a juice box while riding my tricycle. It made me feel dangerous

Wife says to husband “whisper dirty things in my ear”.
Husband leans in and whispers “Dishes, laundry and living room”.

If someone throws skittles at you and yellow “taste the rainbow” run over them with your car and yell “nationwide is on your side”

How many women have you slept with asked the wife.
Only you replied the husband, for the rest I was awake.

They tell us to send our clothes to the poor starving kids in Africa, Well trust me if they can fit into my clothes they aren't starving!!

A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, "Anything you say will be held against you!" Then the drunk man yells; "TITTIES"

I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful

I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells.
Apparently, Mexicans and blacks is not the correct answer.

What do women and police cars have in common?
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming

Whats the difference between a Bowling Ball and a Hooker?
Nothing, they both get Picked Up, Fingered and then Banged down some alley!

Ever try the rodeo position? When you're in bed with your girl, just lean in real close and whisper, "You're not as good as your sister" and try to hold on!!!

Saw a van that was covered in dirt & someone had writter "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van".
I wrote "she is...when you are at work!"

Next time your having a bad day imagine this: your a Siamese twin your brother on your shoulder is gay your note he has a date coming you have only one ass

What's the Difference between kinky & perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend's ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken.

I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Morning." he said, "No, just taking a shit".

Whats better than wining first place in the special Olympics?
Not being in the special olympics

What do condoms and girlfirends have in common?
They spend too much time in your wallet and not enough on your dick

my favourite

For some reason women think child birth is the hardest thing imaginable.
Obviously they've never tried pissing straight with an erection


06-24-2011, 09:11 PM
ahahahah those are great[15] thanks