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Vastier
04-30-2010, 08:02 PM
ThisaussiecaughtthisKiwihavingabitoffunwithasheep. ...."Mate",theaussiesaid,"Overthereweshearthem".Thekiwireplied,"Mate,Imnotshearingthiswithinnyone"


AhelicopterwasflyingaroundaboveSeattleyesterdaywhe nanelectricalmalfunctiondisabledallofaircraftselec tronicnavigationandcommunicationequipment.Duetothe cloudsandhazethepilotcouldnotdeterminehispositiono rcoursetosteertotheairport.Thepilotsawatallbuildin g,flewtowardit,circled,drewahandwrittedsignandheld itinthehelicopterswindow.Thesignsaid"WHEREAMI"?inlargeletters.Peopleinthetallbuildingquicklyresp ondedtotheaircraft,drewalargesignanhelditinabuildi ngwindow.Thesignsaid,"YOUAREINAHELICOPTER".Thepilotsmiled,waved,lookedathismapanddeterminedt hecoursetosteertoSEATAC(Seattle/Tacoma)airportandlandedsafely.Aftertheywereonthegr ound,theco-pilotaskedthepilothowthe"YOUAREINAHELICOPTER"signhelpeddeterminetheirposition.Thepilotresponded ,"IknewthathadtobetheMicrosoftbuildingbecausetheygav emeatechnicallycorrectbutcompletelyuselessanswer".


Acucumberandapicklewerehavingaconversation.Thepick lesaidtothecucumber,"Igotitbadman,everytimeIgetbig,fatandjuicyIgetseaso nedandputinajar."Thecucumbersaidtothepickle,"WelleverytimeIgetbig,fatandjuicyIgetchoppedupandou toversalad."Thepeniswalksbyandoverhearsthemandsays,"Igotitworsethanyouboth.WhenIgetbig,fatandjuicyIget putinadark,smellyroomandtheymakemedopush-upstillIthrowup."

Vastier
04-30-2010, 08:11 PM
Not sure why I lost all the spaces on the above post. I'd fix it but I'm stuck using the phone...

Tinker
04-30-2010, 08:24 PM
This aussie caught this Kiwi having a bit of fun with a sheep ....."Mate",the aussie said, "Over there we shear them".The kiwi replied,"Mate,Im not shearing this with inny one"


A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of aircrafts electronic navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building ,flew toward it,circled ,drew a hand writted sign and held it in the helicopters window.The sign said "WHERE AM I"?in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign an held it in a building window.The sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER".The pilot smiled,waved,looked at his map and determined the course to steer to SEATAC(Seattle/Tacoma)airport and landed safely.After they were on the ground,the co-pilot asked the pilot how the"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the Microsoft building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer".


A cucumber and a pickle were having a conversation. The pickle said to the cucumber,"I got it bad man, everytime I get big, fat and juicy I get seasoned and put in a jar."The cucumber said to the pickle,"Well every time I get big ,fat and juicy I get chopped up and out over salad ."The penis walks by and overhears them and says,"I got it worse than you both.When I get big, fat and juicy I get put in a dark, smelly room and they make me do push-ups till I throw up."

Fixed, And thanks fer the headache:D

Vastier
04-30-2010, 08:58 PM
Haha, thanks Tinker... Kinda hard for me to fix as I'll I've got is an iPhone. [cheers]